Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
