Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
