look no pants
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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