Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
