The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
