Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
