I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i drank out of a bidet.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
