Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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