We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
