Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
