this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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