i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We talked him into tasing himself.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
