Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
