I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
