found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
