those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
