I just cut my nipple shaving
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
a search helicopter?!
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
