I showed him my bush... on skype.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
