Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
