i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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