who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
