I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
do herpes really smell.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize