Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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