dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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