Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
