before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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