Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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