Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i drank out of a bidet.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You were trust falling into bushes
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize