Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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