she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
