I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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