I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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