so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Randomize
