I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
