I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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