Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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