i just wanna soil my oats bro
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize
