i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
