How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
