I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
