I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
