If that was your dad, he is hot
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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