That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
