I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
