i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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