It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I came so hard my ears popped.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
