i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
