I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
not ubering you a puppy
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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