the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize