There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
