sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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