I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Two words: nipple clamps
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