You just made me feel so damn special
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
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