i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
