I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
