i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
