I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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