oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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