i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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