you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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