shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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