last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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