Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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