none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
