Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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