My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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