Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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