Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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