I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
